The message men have ingested about manhood is so confused, twisted and even manipulated, that men are not really sure themselves what it is to be a “man.”
Women are just as confused about men. Women can’t decide if men are their knights in shining armor, their rescuers/saviors, or are heartless unfeeling brutes that absolutely can’t be trusted.
The question of what makes a man originated from the first evolutionary mechanism, called polarity. This is the polarization of humans into seemingly diametrically opposed opposites, men and women. It is the tension between these opposites that drives evolution.
This tension creates opposition and often this creates conflict. From male/female, yin/yang, phallus/vagina, giver/receiver, I think it reasonable that all would agree that these opposites have from the beginning of time created the “Tension of the Opposites.” How are opposition and the tension created by it and used for the purpose of evolution, which includes growth and expanded awareness? In order to coexist with ones opposite, all must find the compassion and empathy within to accept these mirror images of ones self. Empathy and compassion are comprised of the passionate experience of the suffering, the root of both words, of one’s opposite. The act of learning to know one’s opposite is based upon the ability to expand oneself to include one’s opposite. This is not necessarily easy. To master this, one must face challenges and survive suffering. Once you have done this, the tension will be lessened, as you will be one with the other, while maintaining your individuality.
On this principle these words were spoken: “love thine enemies.” Are not our enemies, our opposites? Have not women seen men, and men seen women at time as enemies. There is even a movie entitled Sleeping with the Enemy, referring to the main female character’s husband as the enemy. A fifty percent divorce rate in America would indicate that there is some truth to this idea. Paraphrased, it could be: love thine opposites. This is no small accomplishment, but than evolution is no small movement.
Loving the opposites means being able to stand in their shoe and understand their point of view without judgment. This is love in action and when applied, leads to evolution of the soul. It does not mean that the actions of ones enemy need be loved, only their underlying humanness understood. The action may be abhorrent and need not be accepted. But the humanness must be understood, for in this mirror all will see a part of themselves and all will learn if they choose to exercise their inner courage to look.