I have become aware of a phenomenon that is occurring in which teenage girls are performing oral sex at parties with men they don’t know, strangers. I asked my teenage daughters if they have heard about this and they said yes.
I found that unbelievable! My daughter did too. I felt angry and disturbed with this. Has our society digressed to the degree that young girls consider oral sex equal to hand shakes? Former U.S. President Clinton said it was “not sex.” This has had greater ramification than anyone thought. The answer was sadly obvious to me.
Why? How is this possible? Some possibilities came to mind:
- Peer Pressure, to be popular, accepted within a certain circles of friends
- Lack of self-esteem or self-worth
- For fun, to have a taboo experience
- To explore their sexuality
- Boys will not pressure for intercourse if they receive oral gratification
- To please others
- Might be part of a sexual addiction
- The need for attention
Of course, teenage boys are part of this situation; they are culpable in this travesty. Someone who hasn’t heard of this phenomenon may be asking were they can find these parties. How could they participate? That’s simple; they are focused on the only thing allowable for a real “man,” sex. Unfortunately, they actual have lost sight of what they need, connection. They allow the women to lessen themselves and think nothing of it, yet deep inside they know and this will come back to haunt them.
But young women in today’s hip hop world are inundated with direct sexual examples of woman as sex objects. These undulating sex objects serve the sexual needs of the gangstas and other macho types. In fact they are referred to as “bitches,” or “my bitch.” Ho, slang for whore is now an acceptable “pet” name, as is mimicking pimps. This ghetto mentality has infected our society. It is a disease and must be seen as this. And this thinking must be declared unacceptable. Society must raise-up ghetto thinking, not lower itself into its ignorant darkness.
Further, our Hollywood “stars” do it and have the videos to prove it. These “role models” (I want to vomit) have been give so little direction, discipline and guidance that they run amok. They are allowed access to the out-of-control adult world of Hollywood and know no bounds. Their “handler” won’t rock-the-boat for fear of displeasing them and losing their jobs. And somehow society has decided to turn a blind eye to all this. When Paris Hilton’s porn video was released her parents said from wherever they were tipping their martinis (not at her side) that they support her. My older teenage daughter was part of a conversation I had on this subject and she said without prodding that she would be chained to a wall in a Tibetan Monastery if she did that. She was correct; I love her enough to discipline her, even if she hates me for it. I am also not so narcissistic that my life would take precedence and be more important to the exclusion of hers.
Perhaps all of society has lost sight of the whole of society. We are blinded by our own self-involvement to the point we ignore our children’s desperate need to be seen and considered important enough for us to give them guidance. Even though they will fight it, they desperately want it. Providing attention and guidance is a courageous form of our love, and it is lacking. A calm, lack of arguing does not mean all is well. If can mean a blind eye was turned so as not to have to confront unpleasant situtations. Risk overturning the apple cart, upseting the calm!
It is time for adults to wake-up and take a stand. The future of the world, our children are at risk!