Men Who Won’t Marry

To be, or not to be (married) – that my dear Shakespeare is the real question. Why are so many more men not taking the “plunge?” U.S. population figures from 1980 to the present indicate that the percentage of men in their forties who have never been married has nearly tripled to seventeen-percent of all men. Why is this happening? Are they afraid of women? Are they afraid to commit? Do they not like women?

Divorce, a rare thing prior to the sixties is now all too common. Statistics reveal that over fifty-percent of all marriages end in divorce. This is common knowledge and an alarming trend.

The sacred institution of marriage is clearly under attack from within. Let’s look at what is different from a man’s perspective. The answer men have given will surprise you.

  1. Men don’t like failing, and the odds of success are not in their favor, are they?
  2. Divorce is unquestionably an ugly thing for all. It is first and foremost painful. No one intentionally puts themselves in harms way without some trepidation. Add to that fact, through training men have shut down their emotions to one degree or another. So dealing with painful emotions felt during a divorce is more of an unpleasant prospect for a man than a woman. The average man would rather avoid pain at any cost, because he’s been trained not to know how to deal with it. He is looking at the prospect of a painful failure that one out of two WILL go through. The attraction of marriage pales with this awareness, doesn’t it?
  3. Men believe they will usually lose in divorce. Certainly not always, but usually. One of the things they most often lose is their children. It shouldn’t surprise you to know that men on the whole do care about their children, especially considering the trend toward allowing men to feel. This is very painful, and even if you work out seeing them a lot, you don’t get to do this like you did. This will feel like the loss it is. All men have seen others go through this, and this does not encourage you to open yourself to the same. Also, losing is not allowed for a “real” man, it’s shameful, and therefore not allowed.
  4. The almighty buck also comes into play in men’s decisions. If they don’t have enough, men believe they will have nothing to offer. This reflects poorly on women as it says that they only are interested in a man’s money, not him (see earlier blog: The Barter System). Men in this position will shy away from relationship. I have had women tell me that “a girl must look out for herself,” meaning choose a man that will support them in the manner they wish to be supported. Understandable, but not as THE BASIS for relationship. This is off-putting to men.
  5. The other extreme is a man with a boatload of money. They fear relationship with women who pretend to love them, but only want the lifestyle they can provide. Both understand the barter system, but he knows he can never trust her. Men also fear their wealth being greatly diminished in a divorce. This scenarios is anything but uncommon.
  6. Many men see women as having become more masculine in attitude, losing their femininity. This is not appealing, nor conducive to taking the “plunge.” At the same time women are more overtly sexual, like men, and are losing what is the most important aspect of sex, intimacy. The very thing men are trying to learn and are hoping women will teach them. It would be unfair to blame women for men’s lack. They must learn this themselves. Women can and should encourage this. Women learn how to manipulate men with their sexuality to get what they want, but men know they are being manipulated and resent this. The women’s movement that rightly argued for equality, also wrongly treated the feminine as weak and wrong. It has damaged femininity in the process of calling for equality.
  7. Some men are not marrying because they don’t have too. You can have intimate relationships, in fact with many women and not be married. The old admonition that prevented this told women, “Why should he buy the cow if he gets the milk free?” Either side of this argument is disastrous for relationship. Women are not possessions to be bought, like a cow, and since men are not aware enough yet, they can’t see the truth in not having indiscriminate sex. In fact they are taught this is a good thing. Add to this men’s fear and it makes sense not to marry.

So, it is with great fear and a distorted view that men now view marriage. This isn’t to say they don’t want a partner where there is mutual love and adoration, only that they are not sure how to create this, or sustain it if they do. Men don’t trust women or even their own abilities to choose a good partner. They know they can be manipulated all too easily. And while judging all women as untrustworthy is unfair, it is not without merit though in enough cases to scare men. The unfortunate part of all this is that it these leaves men masturbating, instead of making love, having short affairs from a safe distance, or taking some comfort in paid-for arms. Surely there is no wisdom in this scenario.


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  1. Mellow

    It’s time that Men and Women need to break free from the so called “Norms of society” Men and women need to realize that you don’t need a relationship and marriage to be happy. You don’t need sex to be happy. You don’t need a member of the opposite sex to take care of you to be “safe”. Being alone isn’t something to fear. Marriage isn’t for everyone and that is fine. Not wanting children doesn’t make you a bad person. We are pressured into doing things we don’t want to do. Marriage, career, etc.
    Focus on what YOU want to do.
    Have you ever noticed that women will insult and make fun of a man that spends most of his time with a hobby? For example, I worked with a bunch of women who claimed that the only reason why professional snowboarders and surfers commit so much time to that hobby, is due to the “fact” they can’t get a woman. What a load of BS.
    Deep down, they are SCARRED. Scarred that people in this world realize they don’t need a significant other to be happy! Scarred that if more men start living the life men want to live, women will be alone. Scarred that they will have no control or power over men.
    I don’t want to date or marry and it’s not because I want to live a party lifestyle and sleep with women.
    I’m a career Paramedic. My career requires dedication, time and lots of hours.

    When I get home, I don’t want to spend my time with someone else. I don’t need to hear nagging or bitching when I get home. During my free time, I would rather spend traveling, reading, playing guitar, trying new foods, exploring new places. I work hard for my money, why should I spend it on someone else?
    Don’t let women pull the “Aren’t you afraid of being alone?” card. That’s to scare men into a relationship. Loneliness is a stupid, learned emotion. We are born alone and we will die alone.
    We only have one life to live. Life is short. You never know when life will grab you by the hair and slam you in a shallow grave.
    Sex? Not important. Chasing women? Not important. Stop spending all that negative wasted energy on women and focus on you.

  2. Raven

    Getting married and having kids, is what Nature designed us for. Nature also designed men and women differently to fulfill the needs of the children. Men have testosterone and women do not. Testosterone makes men feel and think differently than women and there’s nothing wrong with that. Women have estrogen and because of that they think and feel differently than men and there is nothing wrong with that. The differences in men and women are hard wired into us and that’s not going to change anytime soon. So lets stop all the bullshit and just accept the fact we are different. We also need to stop thinking we are divine beings and accept the fact we are just clever animals and are subject to the chemicals floating around in our bodies.

  3. Zul

    Articles like these don’t help…rather…they stir the hot coals and genertate more heat. I do respect the material, research and info in the article. It was well worded and eloquently put. It is facinating how men and women will read the same words and get a completely different picture in the screen of their minds. If it does not happen in nature it is human construct. Men should stay outdoors and hunt while women should stay in their nest. Men and women were not meant to be together only to mate. Watch the responses I’ll be getting from women! I’ll be expecting them.

  4. Zul

    It is a WAR! Men are the warriers. There will be major casualties on both sides. John Grey wrote a book, “How to make peace with the opposite sex”. The opposite of peace is war. Women have pushed, shoved, and cried that men should connect with their feminine side. What they got in return is the Nice, sensitive, understanding, emansculated person (not a man). All that was masculine and attractive to women has been melted off thru bashing and rediculing masculinity. These are the majority of creatures available to women today. These are the creatures left behind as women run to the bad boys, criminals and Alphas to be used and abandoned. Now, single mothers raising the bad boys kids, they feminize their boys and turn them into Mommas boys. As these boys grow not knowing how to be men they suffer in their ignorance Later on when these women have no more choices and their beauty has faded they settle with the person they were disgusted with…The Nice, sensitive, understanding, emasculated man they work so hard to create. It is a WAR. These new age creatures have to grow a new pair and became the men they were meant to be.

  5. jawnee

    As a man I have seen almost everyone of my male friends divorced,cheated on,kids kept from them,bankrupted in no fault divorce courts with maternal presumption,lost their houses,many of my friends have fallen into depressions,alimony,child support….its unbelievable.

    I will never marry or have another relationship with an american woman,ever.

    Feminist social engineering,liberalism and marxism has created literal psychopaths.

  6. Jack

    Women have become professional victims who believe they are owed everything. A man’s sacrifices amount to nothing. Compounded with their laziness, they become obscenely entitled and vindictive. They’re no longer capable of having any empathy for men. They’re not worth investing in. Men who choose to ignore the obvious truth will get burned. By all means date them and have fun. But never co-habitate. A woman’s definition of a “good man” is a slave.

  7. the creator

    men love, women choose mates
    men marry for sex, women for security
    men usually want to be wealthy before they marry, women are not as interested
    men don’t care about the wealth of a woman, women do
    men who work hard, save money, buy houses, they are good men but totally invisible to women who are looking for the other kind of macho men
    men in marriage, apart from kids, have no rights whatsoever, women have everythings before and after marriage

    the final BIG question is: why men still marry?

    possible answers:

    1) women are rights: men are stupid
    2) men are the only one who REALLY love women for what they are but they still haven’t learned that women love for what men can GIVE
    3) kids? get serious! don’t be egoist! birth a baby in this corrupt, devious, cynical, egotistical, (add here what i forgot) world is an insane egoist decision, or maybe many believe in HOPE (lol)

    some words of advice:

    1) even the sweeeeeetest woman in this earth may use the State to get what she wants
    2) marriage is women business. period.
    3) women love cool, rich, beautiful men.. exactly the opposite of any married man on this earth
    4) NO MAN on this earth gets sex for free, women want to be paid to give sex (from the drink at the bar to the price of the condom) so if you have to pay, at least choose the one that you like
    5) there are so many women on this earth it is almost stupid to believe one can find everythings in a woman, if you don’t agree, try to see the same in your ex wife once you will face her in the court..
    6) today our society, with weird music, media, spots, tv, etc and even your ex wives, drives our kids crazy and/or against you, usually they find it’s ok even to not respect you. adopt if you feel the need to have kids, they will show you more gratitude rather than your biological ones.

    last word: if you are looking for something furry and wet and that would be loyal for life, buy a dog!

    Love read it backwards and you will know the true – Evol!

  8. ron cipriano

    And what’s so wrong being by yourself? I see nothing wrong with it..I am amazed how many men to this day feel this fear of ” the boogeyman in the closet”…I am 50 years old , very wealthy and live in Miami, and have no care in the world. I meet women from all over the world and i am glad i stayed single……I love the liberation!!! Every man i talk to has put it to me like this…”If i knew back then what i know now, i would of never gotten married”

  9. JSL

    For most men marraige is a slow painful form of castration. My married male friends are mostly miserable and unhappy. I tried it once and hated it . The sweet caring loving woman that I fell in love with , became my jailer after a few years. As far as the Doctors comment about men masturbating and not making love is absurd. Most married guys have to masturbate as much or more that than their single counterparts. Marriage is a legal contract. The purpose of marraige is to solidify a union between a man and women for the purposes of property ,lineage, and child rearing . Intimacy and relationship are establish outside of the marraige contract. Men marry generally for sex women marry for security.

    Chris Rock put it best… You are either married and annoyed,or single and lonley those are the only two choices.

    I bought a dog.

  10. Bruce Tritton

    An indication of how slanted this article is can be read from the Author’s ‘about’ section.

    “The patriarchy’s most damaging effect is teaching us to reject parts of normal natural selves.”

  11. NiceFeller

    I’m 28 years old and moderately successful. I can afford to be married, and my party days are long behind me. I know for a fact that in my large group of guy friends, when it comes to getting married, we have an issue that was not mentioned in this article. We have a hard time finding a woman who has not slept with 20 men.

    In a world of feminism where women can do what they want, when they want, as often as they want, and with whoever they want (and that’s great – no problem with that), what we’re left with as men trying to choose lifelong mates are a bunch of women with zero femininity who have been around the block with enough men to form a professional hockey team.

    What do these women have good to offer that we can’t get being single? Absolutely nothing.

    I probably shouldn’t, but I’m going to go ahead and speak for 99% of my friends:

    WHEN IT COMES TO MARRIAGE: If I cheat on her, she takes my kids and half my stuff. If she cheats on me, she takes my kids and half my stuff. If she wakes up bored one day and decides she doesn’t want to be married to me anymore, she takes my kids and half my stuff. If she decides to get fat, cut me off sexually, or be a total witch, I have to put up with it or she’ll take my kids and half my stuff.

    The only thing she has to offer besides that is a body that’s been passed out to at least a dozen other men (that’s if she’s a “good girl”) with no demand for commitment.

    I’ll be damned if I’m paying for something everyone else got for free and expose myself to potential financial ruin and the loss of my children. I’ve met a lot of wonderful women, and my current girlfriend is a complete sweetheart. But I’ve seen friends who have gone into marriage the same way, and it turned into hell in about three years.

    I’m not gender bashing here, but when it comes to marriage, women cannot be trusted with all that power. I assume men couldn’t be either if the roles were reversed. My generation of men is starting to demand a little more balance before we walk down the aisle.

  12. Dr. David Eigen

    Iron Nik is correct, both views are rooted in Misanthrope, one who hates or mistrusts humankind. The worst part is that whne you judge and hate the opposite sex, you are actually judging your inner self, that part of you that contain the other sex, as in: inner masculine for women and the inner feminine for men. This is the core essence of the battle of the sexes and what my books are aimed at healing.

  13. Iron Nik

    The good men have given up on women. All you are left with are the manipulators. Is a kicked, neglected dog to be blamed for crawling away from the abuser and trying to find peace and contentment in a place of safety? Let the fawning, pleasing “bastard” court you with his face licking and cloying loyalty — but don’t be surprised when he bites. Real men are real people. Until women accept this truth, and understand this truth, you’re not ever going to know the real men. And frankly, we’re not interested in you until you do.

    …There are no misogynists, no misandrists, there are only misanthropes.

  14. Sharon A.

    The good women have given up on men. All you are left with are the manipulators. Is a kicked, neglected dog to be blamed for crawling away from the abuser and trying to find peace and contentment in a place of safety? Let the fawning, pleasing “bitch” court you with her face licking and cloying loyalty — but don’t be surprised when she bites. Real women are real people. Until men accept this truth, and understand this truth, you’re not ever going to know the real women. And frankly, we’re not interested in you until you do.

  15. Dr. David Eigen

    Russ, I hear and feel your pain and frustration. It is not unjustified. The system has swung not to a balanced middle ground, but in favor of women for the most part. As to marriage issues, they all boil down to our beliefs in fairytale relationships. In them we go off into the sunset, never knowing our partners, or ourselves for that matter. We really don’t know what a healthy fulfilling relationship is. But we think we do, or we think love will make it work, magically. That is the problem, because out of our beliefs we set expectations, make judgments, and take things personally.
    Your Ex has been captured, manipulated, and imprisoned by her upbringing. How sad; and how sad are the effects you and your daughter must endure from them. Allow yourself to grieve, learn about people, not out of anger and blame, but out of truth. Look at what you brought to the table that was part of the dance, too. Pick up my book ASAP. You will find extremely useful things within. Blessings on your healing.

  16. Russ

    You all bring up some very good points which have made me contemplate the issue further. I was married 25 years… then one day my wife walked away from the marriage. There was no lying, infidelity, alcohol abuse… only a father-in-law who had money and wanted complete control over all designated beneficiaries in his will – which included my ex. Ahh, those were the days… one day you were in his will, the next day out… depending on how he felt about you. In the end, my wife made a choice and her choice to go with her father and his money cost me my marriage many of my assets and custody of my daughter… among other things. What I came to realize is that I’m not special and believing that “just because it happened to someone else doesn’t mean it will happen to me” was naive on my part. Living in a no-fault state the legal system taught me marriage is a financial decision more than anything else and as a man, I never felt more at a disadvantage than when I was in court – yes… she played the role of the victim all too well. Women today are more liberated/feminized than in the past and have the power to unilaterally end a marriage and take a bigger portion of the assets, children and money than they deserve. Why would any man give a woman the power to wreck his life for a period of years? Through no-fault divorce she can file for divorce anytime she likes for any reason she likes and end up with the house, kids, part of the man’s pension, alimony, child support – no wonder divorce rates are climbing. It may appear I’m an angry blogger… that might be partly true, but the larger truth is twice as many as women file for divorce as men… and… why; because they “feel neglected.” Once my wife and I started a family I felt neglected a lot when my wife was attending to the kids’ needs… I suppose I should have taken the initiative like many women do today, said “You’re not meeting my emotional needs honey” and filed for divorce. It’s true… men can be more attentive to a woman’s needs… trouble is if you’re not meeting them you may never know it until it’s too late — game over. Our societly is spoiled (women in particular) and believe they deserve “happily ever after”… all the time; of course this is not realistic. One thing is certain, men are catching on to the pitfalls of a modern day marriage (notice I said modern day marriage). Things have changed with the feminization movement… the price society and women will pay? More men talking and less and less men entering into marriage which will statistically end in divorce. It might be best to change traditional vows “I, (Sarah/James), take you (Sarah/James), to be my (wife/husband), to have and behold from this day on, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; until death do us part.” TO “I, (Sarah/James), take you (Sarah/James), to be my (wife/husband), to have and behold until I feel neglected, for better only and never for worse, for richer, not poorer, never in sickness and only in health, to love and to cherish; until I decide to divorce you in a no-fault state.” Times have changed along with divorce rates… isn’t it time for our wedding vows to reflect some of those changes?

  17. Dr. David Eigen

    Thank you for writing Lisa, I feel your pain, reluctance, and resentment both at men and the institution of marriage as it has become. Be careful though, the dance we are all in “takes two to tango.” This means both genders have their own challenges and issues. The hard part is seeing our own shadows, or dark sides because they are hard to see, like shadows. But they are there, like it or not. Yes, men are challenged and when it comes to emotions, handicapped unquestionably. Without their inner feminine feeling side they can hardly be The Gods of Love, only mentally driven beings unable to connect with women other than sexually. I highly suggest you buy my book to better understand the masculine, both the inner and outer. I guarantee it will change your outlook and understanding of men. The other side of the same coin, women, are emotionally driven, but without their masculine thinking side this becomes chaotic, and difficult to trust, because it changes at the drop of a hat. I will address all this in my nearly complete second book, Women-The Gods of Wisdom.
    So you see both genders have been taught how NOT to be whole, not have connected loving relationships, nor to understand each other, or communicate, or dare I say it, love. Changing this is the purpose of my books, lectures, and life. Women’s resentment of men, that you may relate too, can be seen in the book review I received. Look at the main menu under reviews and read to where she says “apologize to the author.” It is glaring, and she struggled just to open the book. Then she liked it. Perhaps a better tittle would have been the Male Masquerade. At least women would not have resented it. This book won a silver medal, accolades from the readers who read it, yet isn’t selling. Women turn their noses up to thinking anything positive about men, yet love the title of the second book. This is an expression of women’s shadow. Men have laughed at the title of the second book coming from the same resentful shadow place. Go to the second book’s website (left hand column on this site’s main page) and read the excerpt from it entitled The Barter System. This will make all this clearer.
    Here is the key, all of women’s resentment of men becomes internalized; that is, focused unknowingly at their inner masculine. Women judge it and reject it. This prevents women from reaching wisdom and wholeness. Men do exactly the same thing internalizing their resentments of women, whose chaotic flip-flop emotionality appears crazy to them because they don’t understand it as simply a rejection of masculine reason, because that appears heartless to women. Men therefore reject their own inner feminine nature, and there goes the possibility of being Gods of Love.
    Women are emotionally chaotic because they have been denied and rejected their inner masculine. Men cab be heartless and compassionless, yet fall apart when faced dead-on with emotions, because they have been denied and rejected their inner feminine.
    This is the state of the world and I intend to change this. I hope you will join me in this service to all. Pass on my info, tell others to buy the book. Just remember, your rejection of marriage to men, though understandable, is a rejection of self. Make inner peace and you will find outer peace, and love. Blessings.

  18. Lisa Lee

    It’s late and I came across the above conversation. I just turned 31 recently and what I have realized is my further distaste to marry. This is a thought that I once felt hesitant to openly verbalize to family and friends because it is something I should want (apparently).

    Now many have taken feminists to levels that have embedded a misguided view of the concept. The reason women support this is because it means that women DO NOT want to be limited in ANY endeavors solely on their gender. Whilst it may be true men are naturally physically stronger men appear to overstep boundaries of respect.

    Once women have begun to circle their lives around men and realize how they have settled- they will make drastic changes. Women settle. Men fluctuate.

    To quote Jamie Foxx, “Women bend. Men break. That’s how I know women are superior creatures.”

    Men give up, do not want an absolute great woman, they settle for those who will except their long term of laziness.

    However, it surprises yet disappoints me when I read, listen, or converse with men who are aware of the shortcomings of men and women- yet do nothing to change the cycle.

    Women at this point have no choice but to be more masculine because we have exhausted our feminine wiles on men who say they are worthy but fall very short.

    If you want a woman who is understanding, cooks, nurturing, fun, attentive, supportive, etc…. why be reluctant to offer her the same? If you believe a woman should uphold herself in a certain manner why should a man not? Is it not the man who is to provide, love, stay faithful, protect, and nurture as well?

    I am not making excuses for women, by all means, some women are crazy, yet it is unfair to not expect one gender of being able to do everything, especially if it lacks on the other side.

  19. Steve

    Wow, I just re-read how much of an angry blogger I came across as… I thank you for your response, and apologize if I came across as angry; it’s not the case. Frustration is probably a better way to describe my current state. It’s unfortunate that males too often express our frustrations angrily; there really are a lot of bloggers out there that make very good points, and whose views are rational and deserve to be taken seriously. But too often I find it’s lost in all of the anger… Focused and organized anger could be transformed in to true passion, and would be far more productive…

    Overall, well put. And I think I’m sold on your book. I currently plan on also reading books by Warren Farrell as well; any comments on him as an author? And just for the record, I too treat women with respect because I was brought up to do so. I have grown up with very strong, loyal and admirable women in my family, so I know not ALL women are bad; just as all men aren’t bad. I just refuse to grant women the status that many think they are entitled to only because they are women; they too have to earn respect and prove themselves worthy to be labelled as having integrity and being ladylike. I think you would agree that to earn a man’s respect and continued investment, or anyone’s for that matter, you have to continually earn it and prove that you are worthy of it. I don’t see how “whoring” themselves the way they are doing, then screaming at us and calling us weak for not accepting what they have become only because we are intimidated by “strong women” is worthy of our investment; i.e. marriage. Many seem to think WE, as men, should want what THEY think we should want. That sort of thinking teeters on totalitarianism; the idea of telling people what to think, what to want, how to live and spend, what’s important and what isn’t and overall just how to exist. And in reality, there way of thinking is no more moral or intellectual than a man’s either; rather, there thinking is a result of what’s in THEIR own rational self interests, just as our own is. This is something we are all guilty of, not just women. Socio-biology shows that this is a failure that we all seem to suffer from in varying degrees as a result of being human; something that transcends gender, race, and religion. Anyway, put more accurately, I treat all people with a sense of decency and respect. I will not sacrifice my own integrity, values and morals because some (both men AND women) have decided that they are willing to sacrifice their own; especially when they find that there morals and values get in the way of what they want in the moment. Like my mother has always told me: stay true to who you are.

    I also agree with you that both men and women should aim to become fuller human beings. Women aren’t men, and visa versa. It’s interesting that you mention the fact that we need to break away from our “macho” programming without becoming feminized; I couldn’t agree more. I have always hated the fact I feel pressured to act in a certain way, and conform to a certain set of standards of conduct based on my gender. Men will never be like women in the sense that we will never be emotional in the same MANNER that they are emotional. I have found, personally, that that’s what separates masculine emotion from feminine emotion. They really are different forms of emotion. However, even though men and women might feel differently, I think the point is that BOTH genders do feel. And, as men, we are not allowed to express this in ways that are conducive to whom we are. It’s too bad too, because our emotions really are quite unique, and I think that if men were allowed to express their “masculine” emotions, society would benefit greatly. The idea of reservation, control of ones emotions, and the endurance to “suffer in silence” really does shape our emotional lens much differently I think. Although that may still seem like the repression of emotions to some extent, I think that’s part of what makes our emotions unique. Emotions that are rational, and logical in nature. Seems almost contradictory, but I believe that’s only the case if you view emotions as being only feminine in nature; that is, the only type of emotions that exist are those that are expressed by women.

    One final thing I’d like to add is with regards to your final comment on mindless sex: I do agree that sex without intimacy is less than sex with intimacy. Also, I would like to point out now that I don’t necessarily agree with guys going around and trying to get laid for the sake of getting laid. In fact, I think it’s a waste of time, and overall a trivial pursuit that has its roots most often in seeking out the pleasure of the moment, and the the highs associated with sense of “conquering” a challenge. However, I think that we really do have to be conscious of the fact that, even though we can make our own choices, evolution cannot be ignored. Did you know that the action potentials that connect the female’s amygdala (emotional centre of the brain) to the rest of her brain are 10 times more active during sex than her male counterpart? In fact, the female brain is much better connected to the amygdala in general. So, I would ask: why did nature design it that way? That can’t be attributed to patriarchal programming alone. Granted, patriarchy definitely reinforced it, but nature played the largest role seeing as it is more advantageous to the survival of our young if the female is more invested in individuals. Males, on the other hand, are better served protecting and spreading their genes. Yes, we have evolved and can make rational choices, but I would posit that that sort of argument assumes that a man’s urge to spread his seed and his inability to experience intimacy in the same manner women do isn’t rational in the context of how nature/God designed the universe i/e. our socio-biology. So, as such, I just think its more realistic and objective to approach all of these sort of issues under the basic premise that as males we’ve been designed to serve a different purpose. Again, I am not saying that we should all go around having mindless sex and one night stands. What I’m trying to say is that maybe we were designed this way because we aren’t meant to only invest in one person, or to focus solely on individuals per say. Maybe we aren’t meant to be responsible for only one woman, or even women in general (something feminism has now freed us of), but for the whole. Examples of this kind of male psychobiological evolution can be found in things like chivalry, heroism, and self sacrifice for all those that can’t defend themselves. Albeit not only a trait men can claim to possess, but a definitively masculine trait nonetheless. And again, although we have all evolved socially, and we are no longer the disposable sex to protect women anymore (again, via feminism), why should we deny our heritage? Maybe the disconnect in our brains and the emotional state we are meant to occupy(one which right now do not because of patriarchy) is part of what it means to be a man, and part of what constitutes the masculine. Isn’t something that should be honoured and cherished for both its strengths and weaknesses, just as the feminine and its strengths and weaknesses should be as well?

    Anyway, I apologize for the length, but I am very interested in all these topics. I am very interested in a variety of social studies, and the current state of relations between the sexes is one that not only frustrates me, but being a scientist and philosopher fascinates me as well. If you’re wondering, I have done degrees in Mathematical Physics, pure math, and Philosophy. Currently, I run to small businesses, one of which is a small alternative school, and plan on doing a B.Ed and an M.Ed afterwards in order to teach and be socially active. And, out of curiosity, when you refer to women as god’s of wisdom, what do you mean? What sort of wisdom are you referring to? I’m enticed, and would like to know a little more… Thanks again…


  20. Dr. David Eigen

    Thanks for your comments Steve. I agree the feminist movement is in fact anti-feminine. It has done great damage to femininity. I still treat women like ladies, however, often they forget how to be ladies, instead acting like men. I remember the Virginia Slims cigarette commercials the promote the slogan, “you’ve come a long way baby.” Yes, now you can get lung cancer just like us. Great wisdom aye! Women must be full human beings with heart balanced with mind and soul, not masculinized feminists. Men need do the same and be full men with minds balanced with heart and soul without becoming feminized, or remaining macho.
    Men and women are different, we are opposite sides of the same coin and contain the inner opposites. Mindless sex, the base animal instinct like an ELK stud is not who we are, human males can make choices and feel. I suggest you read my book now to understand that sex for human males has replaced intimacy by our patriarchal training. We don’t need to just spread our seeds indiscriminately; we need intimacy and connection. Unfortunately, men have been taught to disassociate from emotions and needs for the most part. This leaves sex as the main way of filling our inner needs. Read my book to understand this more. It reveals how one can find real fulfillment, not just momentary satisfaction.

  21. Steve

    wow, very poorly written on my part; In a rush, but I think those that come across this will get my point…

  22. Steve

    Much of what’s written here is true, although there are some points missing and some that are present don’t articulate the situation very well.

    To start, one of the biggest reasons why many men, more and more, intelligent successful ones, refuse to marry is because women are no longer marriageable. Call me a misogynist, I really don’t care; eventually, objective truism will prevail exposing the nature of our great western society… A lot of what is expected of men is to behave like gentleman. I ask; why bother when women aren’t acting like ladies? It’s a double standard to expect that men should act like gentleman and treat women like “ladies” when clearly they do NOTHING to earn such status. Like it or not, feminism has proved not only that women are capable of doing everything a man can, but that women are in fact in no way morally superior beings; they are far from it.

    2 more things I’d like to address:

    “Women learn how to manipulate men with their sexuality to get what they want, but men know they are being manipulated and resent this.”

    “and since men are not aware enough yet, they can’t see the truth in not having indiscriminate sex.”

    First, yes, men do resent this. But they resent it as much as women resent the fact that men barter commitment for sex. This has been going on since the beginning of our species. The truth is, in the past women offered sex in exchange for commitment and support; ie, if we had sex with them, we were obligated to take care of them. This is no longer the case, feminism has freed us of that (thankfully). So, the truth is, that women no longer have anything of real value to offer anymore. Freedom and independence comes with a price. And the sooner us guys stop treating women like helpless children, the sooner we can evolve as men and finally focus on personal growth. Men, I do agree, have a lot to learn.

    Second, this comment is insulting: Lets be clear, I am WELL aware of the pros and cons of indiscriminate sex. Even that aside, I don’t need a woman to teach me otherwise. The truth is that most women these days are just as clueless as the rest of us, and are clearly lousy teachers. Finally, ignore it if you like, but it’s OBJECTIVE REALITY; We are still products of our evolution, and men have been designed by nature to have sex with as many women as possible. To assume that men who have indiscriminate sex are immoral and wrong is garbage. We do it because we think, act, and even feel differently than women do. Sure, there are shared values, etc. BUT MEN AND WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT, and we therefore think, act, and react to our environment differently. If you don’t like it, yell at the cosmos’s and earth, or god for the religious folk, because its by that design that we are that. Deal with it already

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