Women naturally exercise control in a feminine manner, rather than in a masculine one. First, it must be pretty. Secondly, it mustn’t visibly rock-the-boat. The “boat” being the fairytale-like illusions of life constructed to handle (control) life’s experiences. So the boat that shouldn’t be rocked is really more like a lifeboat then an ocean liner. Here lies the problem; most belief they are secure in their berths in an ocean liner they control, going to fascinating ports-of-call…
The reality is they are afloat in a sea that takes them, hither and thither, as the winds of fortune and the tides dictate. They control nothing, while waiting to be rescued. This latter perception is uncomfortable, hence the need for the alternative. How does this get created?
People sometimes run from the very thing they want the most, like Love. Why, because it is the most vulnerable place. Love is humankind’s greatest fear.
Think about these choices, but choose one.
Choice one: you get your jaw broken.
Choice two: you get your heart broken.
Your jaw will heal in six weeks, over and done. However, heartbreak takes much longer to heal, and will never be forgotten. If you have never let anyone near enough, never had your heartbroken, then you may not understand this. However, your walls may mean you inherently fear love.
The pain of love’s loss is difficult to bear. Yet, most thing they are searching for it. Many choose alternatives like: living in loneliness, or in empty bartered-for relationships, rather than face such heartfelt pain. Naturally, these alternatives were created to insulate from being hurt. Women teach each other “the easiest way to get over a man is with another man.” If only it worked…but it doesn’t in the long run. Men also have their version of this. If you fear something you desire, than part of you will be pushing away at it while the other pulls it toward you. Push pull cycles will appear in your life. It is the flower that as we pull the pedals we say, now he loves me, now he doesn’t. But is it you vacillating beliefs that cause this situation, or his true feelings? Or both, and is he vacillating because of you, or his past? Complicated isn’t it?
Now, what does all this have to do with lifeboats and ocean liners? Perhaps you have constructed the illusion of an ocean liner; full of many of the things money could buy. You can buy (control) reality. Life is then acceptable and you feel secure. The boat doesn’t rock. But what are you distracting yourself from? From feeling like your in a lifeboat – with no control, helpless? Perhaps a lifeboat created during youthful traumas or other heartbreaks? It is natural to want to escape bad situations. When we are physically unable, very often we create the escape within. We disassociate from unpleasant reality. This is a common psychological notion.
What the above illustrates from a feminine viewpoint is controlling through illusion. We cast a spell cast over ourselves. And while women are no strangers to casting spells over men, they usually don’t see the ones they cast over themselves. Men are no different here, though they have their masculine versions. Neither allows one to live in the present moment. Reality becomes custom tailored. The tapestries of our lives are hand-sewn. They are made-up of our perceptions of life’s events, which we weave into our personal stories-and then believe them!
There is only one way out of these traps we have stitched together piece by piece. Be willing to face the disagreeable parts. Remove the stitching, discard the fabric of illusion we veiled ourselves in, and find the truth of who we are, not what we have been taught to be. You will need to practice forgiveness and heal.
So, are we all really in lifeboats? No, those are illusions too. Then what is real? Read Men-The Gods of Love, and when completed Women-The Gods of Wisdom, which contain important wisdom for both genders. The short answer-only love is real, the rest is illusion.
Love doesn’t have to be scary or hurtful. It will require laying aside ideas about knights-in-shining-armor, for the sake of a real love-filled life. All there is are men to be what they are being taught as what a man should be and trying to find love, most without a clue; and women who believe in lovely fairytales as they have been taught, without a clue either. Both are acting-out their parts, find them shallow and continue acting anyway. They know not what they do. Women must find their wisdom, men their hearts. From this point we create heaven, here and now.